My Own Utopian Experiment #17: Purpose is something you give it to yourself, not found elsewhere.
I used to be bothered by the statement, happiness is a choice. The struggles I had in my early years were not created by me. It was not fair. I did not contribute to any of it but it was just life events that happen. I had hard time to find purpose other than my deep desire to live well somehow and my curiosity in life back then. When I look back, the desire and curiosity are the things that literally saved me. I could have become bitter or end up in a bad place. Instead, it carried me through alive at the end. It gave me a life lesson that I will never forget there’s always a way. There’s always a way!
Back then, I did not know my desire to live well and curiosity in life were my purpose. I still hole the same purpose. The reason to start this blog is also to build the life we want and live well together. Acknowledging my purpose changed everything for me. It gave me the feeling of grounded and contentment without much confusion and saving a lot of agony. Maybe I had to take the long path to “earn” the lesson. I slowly learn the external achievements won’t make me happy. The glory of achieving a goal tend to fade out eventually sooner or later. I had fun in pursing but I felt empty and even not doing enough when I did not have any big goal to chase. I took lots of side tracks to find my purpose elsewhere while I had it all the time. Purpose is not something I find somewhere but give it to myself.
It is worthwhile to know your purpose. It will get you through from daily little hiccups to big life events. There’s no right or wrong answer on this. It can be very personal and intimate. We all have different needs. It can start from my very personal and we can expand to the larger, community, nation and world. Here are mine.
- Taking care of my basic needs is true self-love
This covers a lot of things from roof over my head, food, clothes, enough sleep, hygiene, feeling good, etc. No matter how much lemons life throws at me, I have the self-love and self-respect to take care of myself.
- Taking care of my mental space and stress
It is important for me not to ignore the signs from my soul. I have a daily rituals and routines that helps this. I have a recent post about completing the stress cycle. If you are interested, here’s a link and there’s a good book recommendation as well. https://invitedtoshare.com/burnout-the-secret-to-unlocking-the-stress-cycle/
- Building the life we want and live well
This is the center of my blog. We are on this earth to experience human life to the fullest. We savor each day, month, year and our only life we have on this planet.
- Knowing myself
I truly believe my life’s mission is to find out who I am and live as who I am. Never stop experimenting and investing in myself.
- Cultivate joy and interest
We all need to have fun. I am not talking about something to kill time but pure joy, pleasure and fun. What makes you feel joy and fun are part of who you are. Again, there’s nothing more important than finding out who you are. We are here to be ourselves and enjoy the process.
- My child, family and nice friends in my life
They are the reason that I can go thru my daily obstacles and come out alive at the end. I have a child who is still dependent on me. We care for each other. The love, care and positive human connections are my driving force, my horse powers.
- Meet my intellectual needs and reflection especially through good books
I like to visit museums, exhibits, live theaters and arts. I am no near experts on any of it but I enjoy being among other humans’ mater pieces. While I get to do it every year, I can’t do as much as I wish yet. My schedule is not very forgiving. I either need to be at work or do not have a child care. But I do not feel like I am missing out any. We do it as a family every year with something my child can enjoy such as family musicals, live music, etc. More free time will come later. It is a blessing that I am a book worm. It does not need a set schedule at a specific place. I love to carry a book with me. I sometimes read it outdoor. I satisfy my intellectual and reflection needs through book and journals. I always have a book going. I look forward to the time just reading a book. I am extra-motivated to make the time when I have a good book to read. This is one of the best human experiences I have gotten so far. The best invention in human history is printing technics!
- Contribute to communities
I used to volunteer during college more than now. I slowed down when I had a child with a full-time job. My child is grown a bit. I started to contribute to communities together. Of course, it has to be age-appropriate. We have lots of restrictions but we start with what we can. I plan to do it with him as part of school breaks when he reaches to the age that he can participate many. So far, we mostly donate books (we both have plenty), toys, food drive, etc. We volunteered to write cards and letters since he can write simple messages now. We went to pack food pouches for starving children. Volunteering is one of my retired dreams. This is my previous post about volunteering with a child. If you are interested, you may find similar opportunities in your local area. https://invitedtoshare.com/fun-volunteer-ideas-with-your-family/
- Contribute to a good cause to make the world better place: Humanity
One of the quickest ways to do this is participating to fundraising. You just donate some money to a good cause if you can. Most of them accept any amounts. My recent ones for an unfortunate event to a family and Ukraine war. We can change feelings of hopelessness after tragic news to doing something good in my power. We all have control over it at some level. It is good for anyone’s psychology. This is why givers tend to be happier and optimistic. They look for ways to change things in their control. Being sensitive and caring for other’s matters go very far. Compassion! It is a privilege to being a human that we can grieve on someone else’s misfortune and connect to strangers. Be kind! This is the value I am actively trying to teach my kid. When you put out nice energy, the world sends it back to you. I think it is too abstract for him to learn it this way. We have a plan to spread kindness exercise this summer break. Do not litter outside and recycle all you can. Turn the lights off when you do not use it. These small acts go very far when everyone participates.
I can’t possibility list all but you get the idea. If you have a better idea on recycling more, that’s your purpose to help the entire planet. If you are trying to achieve any goals, it is your purpose. It does not have to save the world. It can start from very personal and expand to the larger. If you are helping your children to get education and stay healthy, that’s your purpose. Raising another human being is the most important task. If you are trying to be happy, that’s also your purpose. When you are happy, you are more likely spread your good energy to others. That makes the world a better place. If you signed up your first volunteering opportunity, you only see a tip of ice burg but there are a lot more ice underneath. You just do not know it yet but the value is priceless. If you recently shared your used items such as kids’ clothes, books, toys and anything you have, that’s your purpose being kind, nice and help the planet. If you show up at work no matter how you feel, you have a purpose to take care of yourself, family and really take the adult responsibility well. That’s your BIG purpose. If you put food on the table every day, you are being successful. That’s your purpose. We all have purpose. We just need to give it to ourselves. Sending my love as always.