My Own Utopian Experiment #26: I already have my perfect days to live fully.
This is such a famous book. It was translated in 31 languages in 36 countries. If you would like to read in another language, it may be able to find one. I always try not to spoil your reading in case you want to read the book so I am not going to share in great details but share my own reflection.
Morrie is Mitch’s college professor. They had close and sweet relationships. They lost contact for 16 years after graduation. Mitch learned Morrie had been fighting for his life with a terminal illness. He decided to visit Morrie after 16 years gap. The professor suggests to do a last thesis together. They meet every Tuesday for 14 times. The book covers the thesis, their conversations and reflections on their own lives during the 14 times discussion. The topic varies from the world, feelings, emotions, regrets, death, family, aging, love, marriage, our culture, forgiveness, the perfect day and good-bye. I imagined the book was very sad one but it did not take too long to realize Morrie is dying but he is the one who really lives. I wished longer life for him but I was not too sad knowing he fully lived to the last moment. Bitter but sweet.
We sometimes think and plan like we would live forever. In fact, humans can’t predict tomorrow. Tomorrow is also not guaranteed. It is important that we do not sacrifice now too much for the future that we do not know. If you think about what’s holding us back from living now, it’s fears. Most of the time, fears are fake stealing our precious moments under our noses. Many of the things that we fear may never happen. All we really have is now. To be with now fully, we all need to know what’s the most important things in our lives. You usually can tell the big picture by asking what would you do if you have 24 hours to live. This kind of questions are in the book too. I asked the question myself. I want to enjoy the nature, fresh air, sun, sky, tress, grass, birds and other small creatures just like I typically do around my house. I want simple but good breakfast with family along with nice usual conversation. I tell them I love them. I would love to see friends for some tea or coffee. I want them to visit me. We chat like we usually do. I tell them I love them and let them know my life was better because of them. I promise them I would always listen if they want to talk. I spend the rest of the day with my family. I would let them know they are the reasons that I can push forward and live this wonderful life. I love them the way they are. They taught my love, what love is, how to love and how to be loved. I promise I would always be there for them and I listen as well when they want to talk to them. I would be always there in the air that they breath, the breeze that they enjoy and the things I used to like or do together. I would have the best and peaceful sleep I ever had in my life after good-bye. This got me thinking I already have this ideal life. My ideal perfect day looks horribly the same as my usual days. It is another reminder that I should not feel bad or let myself down too much by small imperfections that come and go. I do have my prefect day mostly. That’s a blessing! I should live to the fullest daily. There’s no need to wait for the last moment to pour all out.
I sometimes tell my friends I love them. The reactions are all different. There’s a friend who says “me too”. There are many other types like being completely silent not knowing how to respond, asking me if everything is ok, telling me to come up with something new (I think they like it but too shy to admit), etc. Regardless of their reactions, I should do this more and pull all of them toward the warm zone. Or I need to express my love and care in other ways as well. They would be eventually comfortable. At least, I won’t regret not doing it earlier.
This is my favorite quote from the book. It tells so well. “As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still here. All the memories are still there. You live on-in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here. Death ends a life, not a relationship.” I want all the loved ones to know this. While I reflect on the book and sit with my thoughts, I realize I always knew love and loving relationships are giving me purpose. It is the essence of being alive. It is the best kind of human experience. I re-examine if I am living align with this value. It is so easy to sweep away with daily schedules, responsibilities and news on TV. I was drifting away more than I wanted to. The book became my GPS and anchor. It brought me back to what’s important. I want to be open-minded and love all the people in my life. Love just the way they are. I am putting this in my conscious so I do not drift away. This is a fairly small book so I placed it on my desk as a reminder. I want to love, be loved and be remembered as someone who loved you and who cared about you. I want to be open-minded and welcome everyone. I am a creator of my own life. I travel every nook of my life and live fully with open heart. I want to listen and love more. I do this daily going forward. Weaving the web of love and great relationships that last forever. How is your perfect day looks like? Enjoy what every day can bring. Sending my love as always.