Gratitude When Things Go Wrong: Live the Best Way I Can and Feel Good Every Day

My Own Utopian Experiment #3: My attempts to feel good and live the best I can no matter what today throws at me

There was a period in my 20s and 30s that many big things went very wrong one after another. I did not contribute to any of them. It just happened. They were big things that would shake your core and could make you a different person either wiser or bitter. That period lasted over 8 years. That was not the end of it. It took more time and effort to recover. I often thought there was nothing more left to lose. I really believed I was at the worst point of my life. When my thoughts were running this negative way, God showed me that I still had more things to lose though another loss. It was a tough first-hand lesson but what I learned really stay with me. I learned I always have things to cherish and not to be so certain and judgmental about a situation. I live and learn. I am still in the process.

One of my new year resolutions is gratitude practice. It is easy to be thankful when things are going well and at least going as usual. It is not so easy to be grateful during odd times with positive thoughts and hopes.  I can decide to be grateful for this present time despite what today throws at me. I attempt to make this choice actively and consciously even though it is hard for me time to time. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Today is always a gift. I get to live another day with the loved ones, working, eating, busy living, raising kids, reading, etc. Just another usual day is precious. That’s why I started to practice gratitude at odd times this year because every day is precious. I am raising chances to be happier and make nice things to happen to myself and people around me through gratitude practices and feeling good.

People put all kinds of the name to this idea, power of positive thinking, positive psychology, law of attraction, you reap what you sow, you are what you think, etc. Whatever name we put it on, they are the same. Some may say it is too philosophical but this can be explained in scientific way too. Do you remember conservation of energy in physics? We all learned this at school. In a short term, energy can neither be created or destroyed and that the total energy of a system can’t change so remains the same. In my own word, energy can change its form with the same amount of energy. The energy you put out of yourself comes back to you with the exact same force. How powerful! Let’s emit nice energy out to bring nice things to ourselves. Most importantly, it makes you feel good. Isn’t this part of what we always want? Feel good and by happy. Here are a few of my gratitude practices on unfortunate events past one month with the intention to live the best way I can.

I got a horrible news that my friend got an illness that she would undergo many strong treatments. That’s the least I expected from a young friend. It got me unprepared. My heart sunk and hit the floor. It did not come back up next a few weeks. I was feeling sick from the shock and my thoughts were going in not-so-pretty places. I noticed what I was doing to myself and also my friend too. I am obligated to send her good thoughts and prayers to bring something good. I try to raise the chances high as possible. I got up everyday to pack my kid’s lunch box, shower, work and keep up with my normal days.  That’s the best I could do for her and myself. It took about three weeks to write a letter via mail without sobbing but full of care, hopes and love. It was a short letter but I wish more than health. I wished the entire world plus everything that she needs and wants. Despite of all these, I am grateful that she shared this news with me. I am thankful that she got the courage to fight for her life and going to every treatment. I am also grateful that everything at this time goes as it should. The future is full of hopes. I appreciate the mail carriers that deliver my letters and also her medical teams. I know a couple friends who are helping her. Thanks to them too. Everything would turn out fine. We will have lunch time to time like old days soon.

In January, we had very bad weather with negative temperature and lots of snow. This kind of weather definitely locks us inside here in Illinois. Everything was frozen and frozen-stuck. I could not open one of my car doors and the garage door was frozen stuck on the bottom. Roads were slippery. Schools were even closed for three days. It was not safe to go outside so we stayed home nearly two weeks. We could not do much besides spending time at home and do our usual stuff. First two days were hard. I kept checking the weather and constantly thought about going somewhere. I wondered what my friends were doing. My thoughts were everywhere. I noticed myself I was not in present and enjoying the day. I pulled myself to be present and gratitude was flowing. I was grateful that we had our warm and cozy house with foods, books and toys. I was thankful that we had each other. We all ate extra snacks and watched a movie every day. Movie night every day was great. It nearly felt like a mini vacation. I was glad we found family movies to watch together. I was happy that I went grocery shopping right before the weather turned really bad. Thanks for my intuition. I felt lucky that the only thing I need to worry about was the weather knowing it would get better soon. Boredom was not that bad. We all found something to do and still attempt to enjoy our precious days. I was very thankful that everyone did awesome job not to get a car accident while commuting.  

My dear washer stopped working. I found out this when I had one-week worth of laundry to do on a weekend. I freaked out first but need to get some clothes clean. I dumped all the clothes in the bath tubs and hand-washed. When I go on a trip, I sometimes needed to wash my socks but I have never done handwash laundry. I guess I did not know how much work I needed to do to complete the job. Squeezing the water out was nearly impossible for big clothes. They weigh 10 times heavier and it was hard even to lift them up. My bad wrists were not doing a good job. I had to dry the clothes in three different times in the dryer because they were very wet. It was a lot of work and water was everywhere. I paid respects to older generations that they had to hand-wash everything. One friend in my neighborhood offered me to use her washer so I did. I was not in the position to decline. I was grateful for her offer and chatted little bit. It is always nice to see them. Next week, I hand-washed a few things on each day. I was managing it. The following week, my bestie offered her washer so I did laundry at her place. We chatted with coffee and pastry she baked. I can’t thank enough for my friends. I can’t remember if I ever had gratitude for the appliances I have at home. I am so happy my dryer is working at least. I will be more than happy when my new washer comes. Thanks to my refrigerator, furnace, oven, toaster, coffee maker, air fryer, blender, computer, cell phone, headphone, electric warm blanket, hair dryer, plug-in pencil sharpener, speakers, etc. I do not have to lose something to appreciate. I am going to say thanks when I use anything at home. That would be a lot of thanks daily!

I thank for today, my ordinary day. I am glad everything run as usual. It is still winter but getting nicer. It is February so I should enjoy this winter weather while I can. I am grateful for the birds that come to my window pot holders. I love watching them from my desk. Thanks to the birds that play at my evergreen so I can listen bird songs almost every day. I am happy for one unusually sunny day this week. I work, read, cook, eat, write, listen birds, walk if weather permits, family time and sleep. Do these all over again next day. It looks mundane but it is the essence of my daily life. They are the most rewarding and meaningful parts. Savor your day and enjoy the best way you can. Wish you a great day! Sending my love as always.