My Own Utopian Experiment #7: Practice Art of Loving, Loving Others is Loving myself
As part of new year’s priorities, I wrote the below in the previous post, https://invitedtoshare.com/merry-christmas-and-happy-2024/. Among everything else, I listed ‘love every person I met’ as the first one. I would like to expand this one a bit as a person who attempts to do so and still in progress.
“I love every person I met. I bless everyone in my life. I love everything I do. I love my work. I love my life. I do a lot of things I love such as reading, writing, blogging, painting, crafting, walking in nature, trying more simple recipes for family dinner, going to book fairs, homemaking, etc. I love homemaking as I am older. It does not feel like choirs anymore. It is very rewarding and satisfying.”
It is easy to love my loved ones who are nice, supportive and love me. I believe I can love everyone else too because we all want it in deep down. It is our natural instinct and this is why we get so hurt when this intention goes wrong. The art of loving became easier after having my child, just knowing a not-so-nice person is someone else’s precious child just like mine. Everyone was an innocent child loved by moms just like myself. Everyone goes thru growth pains just like me. We all live different lives but we all got our own flowers and junks in our lives. Knowing this, I can relate to almost everyone. I can truly be happy and sad for them. Every person I met is just like me. When I grow older, I see clearly how much we are related. We are not too different at the end. This “feeling” (I can’t put a name on it) makes everyone as my friend if they are open. In return, my world becomes a nice place to live along with loving people. I have slowly experienced this shift.
I try not to take it personally. This is still hard one for me so I need lots of reminders. We all have “issues” to work on. I just happened to be there at the moment. Hostile behaviors often do not toward me but themselves. The behaviors have purposes like protecting themselves, still recovering from past memories, trying to prove something to themselves, etc. They just want to be well. They may need more time to work on and move on. They are in the process just like I am. They may need to go thru the phase to come out of it at the end. At the same time, they can be different anytime. Next time I see them, they can be a lot nicer. I attempt not to have grudge on anyone. In Return, I have more inner peace and love in my life.
My lesson on this path is that people usually love me back when I truly love them. They see it eventually if their hearts have the room for friendship. How can you not love someone who love you? It would be hard, right? This human nature works for everyone. Despite of all my intentions and reflections, some do not work out. I need to remind myself to respect other’s decisions. Some may not be open for friendships and some may be but at a rough spot in life. I just respect it fully and move on. I also believe everyone that I came across in my life has a reason and purpose. There were many people in my life who showed up to teach me something in good or bad ways. When the purpose is served, we may both need to move on. If you have a religion, you can call this as God’s plan. In return, I can accept the situation fully without getting hurt too much and I get to love the ones I have in my life.
I often wish others treat my loved ones like theirs. I know I have to start this first to bring it into my life and my loved ones. You reap what you sow! Bless everyone in your life including the ones who are not-so-nice. Wish them well. In return, you and your loved will be blessed. Your heart will be peaceful and full of love.
To me, love means giving a few chances which takes time, patience and efforts. This is vital. Our growth paths are different. I may meet someone at the beginning, middle or end of the growth curve. It is important not to judge others so quickly. We all make mistakes. Love also means respecting their values, beliefs, limits and boundaries. It also means taking the people I met as they are. It means trusting their good sides. Love means you are genuinely interested in the other. Most importantly, love means we are all equal. Nothing external things would determine our values and qualities. We live in a culture that we put high value on accomplishments like economic statues, types of careers, even titles, where you live, what you have, which school you went, etc. None of these define a person. We put our own values. I decided my own values and you decided your own values. Nothing else and nobody can tell us our worth. We are equally human beings and precious individuals. I am just like you. You are just like me. If I love myself, I can love you. I treat you in the way I treat myself. Let’s choose love. Loving yourself is loving others. Loving others is loving yourself.
Have a nice week. Sending my love as always.