If you are a dad, grandparents, uncles, aunts, please read it from your perspective. If you do not have a child in your life, think of this from your parent perspectives or future children. It is not only for mothers but the one adult figure every child needs. I believe having kids and marriage are optional depending on who you are. I would love to share my experience and reflections as a mother without judging anyone’s choice. To me, a mom is the best title I own under my belt. I would like to celebrate it with my community here.
1. I learn unconditional love from my child.
We often hear and talk about unconditional mother’s love but not the other way around. My son is actually the model of unconditional love for me. He does not care what clothes I wear, how I look, which school I graduated, what college degree I hold, where I work and what I am doing there, what is my income level, etc. He loves me because I am his mom. That’s more than enough! He loves me like God (any higher being if you do not have a religion) loves me. It is pure, innocent, unconditional and the best kind of love I have experienced. I slowly became the mom with this love for him through learning and experiencing his kind of love. I did not fully understand what it means to be a mom at the beginning. Of course, you do not know what you never experienced before like anything else in life. I learned to enjoy each other much more and savor every moment with him. It is the best feeling when you are loved and you love someone this way.
2. It is a lot of work but there is the best fun in it.
This is just an example but many parents can write a book about little to big huddles. My son was a picky eater when he was little. Any parents who experience this will agree with me that it is one of the worst things you can experience with kids. You cook but so many meals got cold without being touched. The cold meals became your dinner. You sometimes had determination to come up with a new idea and try it out again. You sometimes feel defeated. He was going to eat PJ sandwiches, plain rice and bread for several weeks and even months. It horrified me to see his rib cages when he took off shirt. I wondered if he is just very skinny or unhealthy or both. He had been under average on pediatrician’s chart. Out of desperation, I got books and browsed ideas on internet. I even looked into feeding therapy. I was trying and trying. I invested much time on his meals especially on the weekends since I have been a working mom. Things started to pick up and he would try new food little by little. He eats every group of food now, veggie, meats, fish, fruits and grains. The entire progress was painful but we learned more about each other a lot. We bonded over food I made for him. It was fun to watch him grow out of the crazy pickiness.
It is very rewarding and fun to watch him grow and learn new things, first smile, first laugh, first rollover, first steps, first mama and papa, first crawl, walk and then run, baby food to solid food, venturing out restaurants with high-chairs, booth and then regular chairs, going to schools, first 2 wheel biking riding (his friends were cheering for him when it happened), learned how to read, write and do math, making friends, attempted to learn piano (did not last very long), trying to learn another language, video games (I hope it is illegal. LOL), finding drawing fun, becoming comic fans, making jokes (if he thinks it is funny, he will say it A LOT), playing board games, our listening music and dance time in the evening, driveway chalk arts, going to library together, our mini vacations (I can’t deal with are-we-there-yet), playdates, going to playground, etc.
I am savoring and enjoy as much as I can. This is the one of the highest points of my life that stays with me no matter wherever I go and whatever I am doing. I am having the best time of my life having a child. I love him to the moon and back!
3. Motherhood made me a better person.
After my son entered to my life, I looked everything thru him. Everyone is someone’s parent and child just like me and my little one. My love for human kinds in general grew bigger. I was much more conscious about the art of loving. Like any other arts, it takes understanding and practice. I was much more willing and did a lot better of letting things go. I look at it from positive angles even with people who seem not very nice to me. We all have our own level of understanding and growth level. People who were not nice to me may and may not change. I do not take it personally. The world would be better place if everyone is nice to each other but it is truly their decision how to live their lives. Whether I like it or not, I respect that and move on. All decisions have costs associated whether it is good or bad. It may not even be their decision and it may be simply they are not there yet at their growth level. We all learn and grow but the level and the speed are different. What’s important to me is that experiencing one of those moments does not change who I am and I do not hold grudge. Grudge is like a dirty garbage bag someone gave it to me. Why would we hold on to it? I just throw it away and wash my mind with good people and thoughts. It would not dimmish my love for humans in general. I like people and there are a lot more nice people out there than not-so-good ones. It is a fact based on my experience and the world is still working because of them.